My heartbeat, my only company
I sit in my swivel chair
In my office
Full of stares
That aren’t really there
Frantic chatting, too loud laughter
Plans for the evening
All this surrounds me but never permeates my atmosphere
A lone star burning bright, troglodyte
Too hot for anyone to come close to
“She always looks sad.”
Is this office gossip real
Or am I going mad?
Either way it creates a table for one that I can’t fight
I go deeper inside
My world a deserted night
Because the worst place I create is imaginary yet real
Forsaken, abandoned, alone, estranged
No happiness left to feel
Because the worst place I can be
Is the place I create just for me
A busy, thriving world of community
But I’m a lone boat on this overflowing sea.
This poem came straight to me from a place of deep feeling. I have struggled with depression for most of my life and one of the biggest triggers for me is feeling lonely; especially feeling left out and isolated. I used to work in a company where for a time I felt so unhappy and alone at work, I felt like I really didn’t fit in. It caused my depression to flare up and spiral down. This is a snippet of how I might feel; surrounded by people yet completely deserted.
Just a reminder that if someone seems unapproachable or aloof, they likely just don’t have the confidence to include themselves. It’s up to us to create an inclusive welcoming environment for everyone around us.